By Steve Harvey
Inhuman Resources
Colleges
OK, it's job evaluation time here at the halfway point of the Bottom Ten season.
Who's getting the least for the buck? That would appear to be the University of Texas, which is shelling out $5 million a year for coach Charlie Strong. The Short Horns are 3-5. So far, those wins have cost $1.67 million apiece.
Other non-bargains include Michigan's Brady Hoke_3 wins on a $4.3 million salary_and Florida's Will Muschamp_3 wins for $3 million.
Muschamp said he was adopting a bunker mentality, prompting reader Bill Littlejohn to ask Seattle Times columnist Dwight Perry: "Which one, Archie or Edith?"
As for the Trojans of No.7 Steve Sarkisian: On SC's VERY objective pre-game show last weekend, the analysts said that Utah's offense "was anemic" and "just not there" and predicted that USC would be too much of a "step up in competition." Naturally, Utah won 24-21.
If you get out a telescope, you might be able to get a glimpse of the Trojans, now in 4th place of the Pac-12's South Division with their $4 million dollar catch.
Coach, Team, Record............Salary...........Cost Per Win
1. Strong (Texas) (3-5)............$5 million.......$1.67 million
2. Hoke (Mich.) (3-5) .............$4.3 million....$1.43 million
3. Saban (Ala.) (7-1).............. $7.3 million.....$1.04 million
4. Sumlin (Texas A$M) (5-3) $5 milllion...... $1 million
5. Franklin (Penn St) (4-3)......$4 million........$1 million
6. Muschamp (Fla.) (3-3)....... $3 million.........$1million
7. Spurrier (S.C.) (4-4) ..........$4 million........ $1million
8. Stoops (Okla.) (5-2)........... $4.75 million....$940,000
9. Sarkisian (USC) (5-3) ........$4.2 million......$850,000
10. Ferentz (Iowa) (5-2)..........$4 million.........$800,000
Finally! New Orleans beats Carolina to end 7-game
losing streak on road
The Pros
Lowlight of last weekend's NFL action? Wall Street Journal reporter Kevin Clark tweeted that "CBS came back from a break to remind viewers that this Raiders-Browns game is brought you by the sequel to 'Dumb and Dumber.' Really."
Who else would sponsor a team with an 0-7 record?
Chatsports.com noted that since the No. 1 Raiders last had a winning season, the world has seen such happenings as the launching of Facebook, the invention of smart phones, the birth of some 800 million people, the firing of 6 Raiders coaches, and the the Raiders' usage of 15 different starters at QB (oh, where have you gone, Jamarcus Russell?).
The team's last winning season, incidentally, was 2002.
Is it any wonder that when the NBA recently experimented with 11-minute quarters in an exhibition game, the Raiders reportedly asked if the NFL couldn't experiment with 11-minute games?
Getting back to "Dumber and Dumber," football version: Buffalo's Sammy Watkins caught what would have been a long TD pass from QB Kyle Orton against the No. 2 Jets, except that he slowed down on his way to the end zone and pointed sarcastically into the MetLife Stadium stands.
And the Jets' Saalim Hakim tackled him from behind. No TD. Not that that matters when you're playing the Jets, who fell to Buffalo, 23-43.
Wreck, Record.......... Last Loss................ Next Loss
1. Oakland (0-7).......... 13-23, Cleveland...... Seattle
2. N.J. Jets (1-7).......... 23-43, Buffalo.......... K.C.
3. Tennessee (2-6)....... 16-30, Houston........ Off
4. Chicago (3-5).......... 23-51, New England.Off
5. K.C. Royals (3-4).... 2-3, S.F.....................Off
6. Jacksonville (1-7); 7. St. Louis (2-5); 8. Idle; 9. Grampa Bay (1-6); 10. NFC South (10-21).
Quotebook 1: Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald on Dallas Cowboys' decision not to suspend receiver Joseph Randle, a suspected shoplifter: "Instead, they chose to think of him as this week's team leader in takeaways."
Quotebook 2: Comic Alan Ray, in the Seattle Times'' Sideline column, on how to know if you're trick-or-treating at a Jets' receiver's house: "He's the one with the Butterfingers."
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