Cal State Queen Mary, undefeated, winless.
By Steve Harvey
Stupor Bowl Director
The Colleges
For teams in the Bottom Ten, the end of daylight saving time was nothing to celebrate. It only meant that their seasons were one hour longer.
But positive-thinking BT selectors pointed out that setting back the clocks just heightened the suspense in the BT race, especially with the puzzling entrance of Cal State Long Beach (0-0) due to a computer error.
The 49ers (aka Cal State Queen Mary) have no wins this season. On the other hand, they have no losses, having given up the sport in 1991.
The Cal State confusion overshadowed this week's Bottom Ten match of the century: No. 1 SMU (0-7) vs. No. 3 Tulsa (1-7). Yes, they don't get any smaller than this. It's a must-lose game for each team, as the saying goes.
In the meantime, Johns Hopkins University announced it had begun a study of the disorienting effect of placing college teams in conferences far from their campuses.
Among those who have suffered are Massachusetts (2-7), lost in the Mid-American Conference; Idaho (1-7), reeling about in the Sun Belt Conference; and of course, the Pac 12's beach-city team, Colorado (2-7).
School, Record ............Last Loss......... Next Loss
1. SMU (0-7)................ Idle ...................Tulsa
1. Cal State LB (0-0).... Idle ....................Idle
Quotebook: ESPN radio's Colin Cowherd ripped Michigan for having a QB who wears No. 98. Guess he doesn't know it's a tribute to Tom ("Old 98") Harmon, Michigan's Heisman Trophy-winning tailback of the 1940s who was voted 16th greatest college player ever in a 2007 poll by...ESPN.
Latest blow to journalism: LA Daily News' Scott Wolf reports that cornerback Adoree Jackson ran over a photographer in the end zone, explaining later that he thought the photog "was a trash can and I tried to push it out of the way."
The Pros
"In a league built on parity, the Jets have become parody," rightly noted Ben Shpigel of the New York Times.
As if their 1-8 record isn't evidence enough, the Jets also learned their takeway total of 3 in 9 games, is the lowest total by any team in that period since 1940 (Peyton Manning's rookie
year).
And who do the Jets get next? The Pitts.
Let's face it, the Jets' season has been one long train wreck. Now, for a bus wreck, we turn to the Washington Redskins, whose bus crashed on the way to Sunday's game (see photo below).
"A little unique way to start the day, when you're getting ready for a football game and you're five feet from driving off a cliff," said coach Jay Gruden, who suffered a whiplash.
Rattled Washington went on to lose, 26-29 to Minnehaha.
And in honor of Halloween, a couple of zombies, Mark Sanchez and Alex Smith, arose from the dead to register victories while their old teams (the Jets and 49ers) met defeat.
Wreck, Record........... Last Loss ............Next Loss
1. N.J. Jets (1-8).......... 10-24, K.C.......... The Pitts
2. Oakland (0-8).......... 24-30, Seattle...... Oakland
3. Atlanta (2-6)........... Idle..................... Grampa Bay
4. Washington (3-6).... 26-29, Minneha... Off
5. L.A. Lakers (0-5).. 106-112, Phoenix...Charlotte
6. Jax (1-8); 7. Grampa Bay (1-7); 8. Chicago (3-5); 9. N.J. Giants (3-5); 10. Tie) Frisco (4-4)
Redskins' bus having bad year, too
3. Tulsa (1-7)................ 20-40, Memphis SMU
4. Georgia St (1-8)......... 0-44, App State Troy
5. Idaho (1-7) ...............28-44, Ark St..... San Diego State
6. Troy (1-8)................ 10-42, Ga South. Idle
7. Weak Forest (2-6).... Idle .....................Clemson
8. UNLV (2-7)............ 28-31, New Mex. Air Force
9. New Mex St (2-7).... 29-37, Texas St ...La. Lafayette
10. E Mich (2-7)........... 7-38, Cent Mich...Idle
10. E Mich (2-7)........... 7-38, Cent Mich...Idle
Quotebook: ESPN radio's Colin Cowherd ripped Michigan for having a QB who wears No. 98. Guess he doesn't know it's a tribute to Tom ("Old 98") Harmon, Michigan's Heisman Trophy-winning tailback of the 1940s who was voted 16th greatest college player ever in a 2007 poll by...ESPN.
Latest blow to journalism: LA Daily News' Scott Wolf reports that cornerback Adoree Jackson ran over a photographer in the end zone, explaining later that he thought the photog "was a trash can and I tried to push it out of the way."
Miami, not used to winning, accidentally drenches ref
with Gatorade after 0-37 win over San "No D"Iego.
The Pros
"In a league built on parity, the Jets have become parody," rightly noted Ben Shpigel of the New York Times.
As if their 1-8 record isn't evidence enough, the Jets also learned their takeway total of 3 in 9 games, is the lowest total by any team in that period since 1940 (Peyton Manning's rookie
year).
And who do the Jets get next? The Pitts.
Let's face it, the Jets' season has been one long train wreck. Now, for a bus wreck, we turn to the Washington Redskins, whose bus crashed on the way to Sunday's game (see photo below).
"A little unique way to start the day, when you're getting ready for a football game and you're five feet from driving off a cliff," said coach Jay Gruden, who suffered a whiplash.
Rattled Washington went on to lose, 26-29 to Minnehaha.
And in honor of Halloween, a couple of zombies, Mark Sanchez and Alex Smith, arose from the dead to register victories while their old teams (the Jets and 49ers) met defeat.
Wreck, Record........... Last Loss ............Next Loss
1. N.J. Jets (1-8).......... 10-24, K.C.......... The Pitts
2. Oakland (0-8).......... 24-30, Seattle...... Oakland
3. Atlanta (2-6)........... Idle..................... Grampa Bay
4. Washington (3-6).... 26-29, Minneha... Off
5. L.A. Lakers (0-5).. 106-112, Phoenix...Charlotte
6. Jax (1-8); 7. Grampa Bay (1-7); 8. Chicago (3-5); 9. N.J. Giants (3-5); 10. Tie) Frisco (4-4)
and San Iego* (5-4).
*Chargers have no "D."
Crummy Game of the Week: Atlanta (2-6) vs. Grampa Bay (1-7).
Rout of the Week: Jets (1-8) vs. the Pitts (6-3).
Quotebook: O.C. Register columnist Steve Fryer caught Monday Night Football broadcaster Jon Gruden uttering this nonsense after the N.J. Giants scored in the third quarter to cut the Indy Colts' lead to 23-9: "It's a new ball game!" The Giants lost, 40-24.
*Chargers have no "D."
Crummy Game of the Week: Atlanta (2-6) vs. Grampa Bay (1-7).
Rout of the Week: Jets (1-8) vs. the Pitts (6-3).
Quotebook: O.C. Register columnist Steve Fryer caught Monday Night Football broadcaster Jon Gruden uttering this nonsense after the N.J. Giants scored in the third quarter to cut the Indy Colts' lead to 23-9: "It's a new ball game!" The Giants lost, 40-24.
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