By Steve Harvey
Senior Couch Potato
COLLEGES
What a shake-up in the college rankings after last weekend's upsets, eh?
I'm of course referring to the 42-41 upset thrashing by No. 1 Miami (Oh!) of Ole Mass (0-6), sending Miami down, down, down to No. 7 in the Bottom Ten rankings. If you win, you pay the price in the Bottom Ten.
Ole Mass played so well in defeat it was dropped from No. 1 to No. 2.
And the new No. 1 is Michigan, a 24-26 loser to mighty Rutgers. It was the extinct Wolverines' 10th setback in 14 games.
USC's Trojans returned to No. 10 after displaying the worst Prevent (Victory) Defense in the nation against Arizona State. The Sun Devils beat them, 34-38, on a Hail Mary pass by Devils QB Mike Bercovici, who threw for 221 yards in the final 6:26. That works out to 2,095 yards for a 60-minute game. And Bercovici was the second-string QB.
The Trojans incidentally gave up 510 yards through the air vs. the Sun Devils. A few weeks earlier, they gave up 452 yards on the ground to Boston College. Talk about a versatile defense.
Of course, for USC, it's all jus a warmup for the Las Vegas Bowl.
Team, Record........... Last Loss*............... Next Loss
1. Michigan (2-4)...... 24-26, Rutgers........... Penn St
2. Ole Mass (0-6)...... 41-42, Miami (O)........Kent State
3. SMU (0-5)............ 24-45, E Carolina....... Cincy
4. Troy (0-5)............. Idle............................. N Mexico St
5. UNLV (1-5) .........10-33, San Jose St...... Fresno St
6. 1-5 Freeway.......... Worst Ground Game in Nation
7. Miami (Oh!) (1-5). Def. Ole Mass, 42-41...Akron
8. Idaho (0-5)........... 30-35, Texas St............Ga. Southern
9. You Con (1-4)...... 10-36, Temple............. Two Lane
10. USC (3-2)........... 34-38, Arizona St........ Arizona
*Some scores may be incomplete due to power outages of Bottom Ten computers.
Crummy Game of Week: Ole Mass (0-6) vs. Kent State (0-5)
THE PROS
No less an authority than Jim Rome calls it the funniest Thursday TV program since "Friends." He's referring to the NFL's Thursday Night Football on CBS, which has presented four straight duds featuring losers who resembled the Keystone Kops.
Last week, Minnehaha fell to Green Bay, 10-42. In the weeks before that, Washington was routed by the Giants 14-45, Grampa Bay was eviscerated by Atlanta 14-56 and the Pitts fell 6-26 to Baltimore. That's an average margin of 31 points per game.
"It (Thursday Night Football) sucks man, I hate it," offensive lineman Josh Sitton told a Milwaukee reporter a few days before his game vs. Minnehaha. "I felt like crap today. Will probably feel like crap on Thursday. I think it's stupid. I think it's all about money for the NFL."
Next Thursday laughfest: Houston against Indy.
Elsewhere, the Beagles tried to become the first team in history to blow a 27-point lead. Luckily for them they were playing the hapless (Please Don't Move to L.A.) Rams. Final score: Beagles 34, Rams 28.
1. Thurs Night FB..10-42, G. Bay....... Indy vs. Houston
2. Jax (0-5)............. 9-17, Pitts............ Tennessee
3. N.J. Jets (1-4)...... 0-31, San Diego ..Denver
4. Oakland (0-4)...... Off...................... San Diego
5. Washingon (1-4) 17-27, Seattle....... Arizona
6. St. Louis (1-3); 7. Grampa Bay (1-4); 8. Idle; 9. Minnesota (2-3); 10. Chicago (2-3).
Quotebook: "I apologize to our fans---those that are left," Jets coach Rex Ryan said after a 0-31 loss to San Diego. Hey, coach, the Bottom Ten will always be a fan!
Taking the "foot" out of football: Detroit has missed 8 of 12 field goal attempts this year. Write to Detroit, not to me, if you want a tryout.
Cleveland Browns fans absorb a lot of pain
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