Some Pre-Thanksgiving Turkeys

Ducks (above) after 20-26 loss to Stanford

By Steve Harvey
Informed Source

It's the never-ending philosophical argument in Bottom Ten land. Should the team having the worst season over-all be honored? Or should it be the worst team of the moment?

The selectors took the latter road, elevating Florida to No. 1 after the toothless Gators registered their fourth straight loss (and to Vanderbilt). It doesn't get much worse than that.

Bolstering Florida's case was the the fact that the school was rated No. 10 in pre-season polls---the TOP 25 polls.

The Gators' main rival, of the moment, is Miami (Oh!), which leads the nation in defeats with 10.

And how about a hearty welcome to the new No. 20 member, the Sports Illustrated Jinx. Oregon was featured on the cover of the magazine's Nov. 4 issue, which was headlined: "Oregon Redefined West Coast Football. Now It's Time to Conquer America" (see photo at end of column).

Naturally, the Ducks went out and got whomped by Stanford, 20-26. Maybe the Ducks should concern themselves with conquering the Pac-12 North Division before they go after America.


The rankled:
Wreck, Record.............. Last Loss..................Next Loss
1. Florida (0-4)*.......... 17-34, Vanderbilt (!) ....South Carolina
2. Miami (Oh!) (0-10)... 6-24, Kent State......... Buffalo
3. Purdon't (1-8).......... 14-38, Iowa................. Penn St
4. Low Cal (1-9).......... 28-62, USC................ Colorado
5. Georgia St (0-9)....... Idle.............................. LA Lafayette
6. Hawaii (0-9)............ 28-42, Navy................ San Diego St
7. Temple (1-8)........... 20-23, Rutgers .............UCF
8. Ew Conn (0-8)........ 10-31, Louisville .........SMU
9. So So Miss (0-9)..... 13-36, La Tech............ Fla Atlantic
10. New Mex St (1-9).. Idle............................. Idaho
11. Idaho (1-9); 12. Idle ; 13. Iowa St (1-8); 14. Kansas (2-7); 15. Virginia (2-8); 16. Ole Mass (1-8); 17. FIU (1-8); 18. Kentucky (2-7); 19. Texas at El Deflated Paso (1-8); 20. Sports Illustrated jinx.
*Since Oct. 12.
Crummy Game of the Weak: New Mexico State (1-9) vs. Idaho (1-9).

The Pros

And then there were none. Jacksonville and Tampa Bay scratched out their first victories, thereby ending their dreams of compliling 0-16 seasons. The two teams will just have to put these wins behind them and attempt to start new losing streaks. It won't be easy, but then it never is.

Meanwhile, the Lost Team of Atlantis sank into the Bottom Ten lead. As many analysts had predicted before the season, this could be the year that Atlantis finally nabs a championship (although it's true that most of the critics were talking about the Falcons triumphing in the Super Bowl bid, not the Bottom Ten bowl).

Elsewhere, Groan Bay petitioned the BT to throw out the results of the Pack's first 8 games, pointing out that, with Aaron Rodgers sidelined, GB is now truly one of the worst teams in the NFL. The always-cooperative BT said, OK.

Chiefs WR Dwayne Bowe was arrested for speeding and alleged marijuana possession, after which his attorney told the Kansas City Star that "this incident will not be a distraction to (Bowe's) commitment to excellence on the football field."

Commitment to excellence? Was this a hint that Bowe expects to be traded to No. 9 Oakland? Certainly he would fit in there.

The Raiders, by the way, fell to the Giants, 24-20, having apparently been distracted by Eli Manning's new mustache.

And defensive end William Hayes of No. 10 St. Louis drove his forearm into a mirror, suffering a bad cut, noted Yahoo's Anwar Robertson, "in addition to the 7 years of bad luck he received." Just what the Cardinals needed.

Team, Record............ Last Loss...................... Next Loss
1. Atlanta (2-7)........... 10-33, Seattle................. Tampa Bay
2. Jacksonville (1-8).... Def. Tennessee, 29-27.. Arizona
3. Tampa Bay (1-8)..... Def. Miami, 22-19........ Atlantis
4. Groan Bay (0-1)*.... 13-27, Philadelphia....... N.J Giants
5. Miami (Fla.) (4-5).... 19-22, Tampa............... San Diego
*Record when Aaron Rodgers does not start.

6. Houston (2-7); 7. Buffalo (3-7); 8. Pits (3-6); 9. Oakland (3-6); 10. St. Louis (4-6).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Tampa Bay (1-8) vs. Atlanta (2-7).

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