Atlantis Building Up Reverse Momentum

By Steve Harvey
Resident Wit (at least half the time)

Colleges

The Bottom Ten has a flurry of must-lose crucials this week.

No. 6 Ew! Conn (0-9) will see if it can get the worst of No. 7. Temple (1-9). No. 8 Purdon't will show what it doesn't have against weak Ill (3-7). And No. 9 Iowa State (1-9) will face the difficult challenge of losing to coaching genius Charlie Weis and No. 20 Kansas (3-7).

Florida, which began the season ranked No. 10 in some Top 25 polls, held on to No. 1 in the BT, continuing its amazing descent from a 4-1 start to a 4-6 disaster.

Miami (O.) is No. 2 with a not-quite-so surprising 11-game losing streak.

Even harder to watch on television than "Hawaii Five-O" is  Hawaii 0-Ten football. Book 'em at No. 3, Danno.

No. 10 Low Cal (1-10), which  meets Stanford (8-2), has asked the Stanford band to run onto the field after the opening kickoff_and stay there.

Wreck, Record............... Last Loss................. Next Loss
1. Florida (4-6)................ 14-19, S Carolina ...... Ga Southern
2. Miami (Oh!) (0-11)....... 7-44, Buffalo............ Ball St (11-29)
3. Hawaii (0-10).............. 21-28, San Diego St.. Wyoming
4. So So Miss (0-10).......... 7-41, Fla Atlantic..... Middle Tennis St
5. Georgia State (0-10)..... 21-35, Lafayette .........Arkansas St
6. Ew! Conn (0-9)............ 21-38, SMU............... Temple
7. Temple (1-9)............... 36-39, UCF................ Ew Conn
8. Purdon't (1-9).............. 21-45, Penn St ............Ill
9. Iowa St (1-9)............... 10-48, Oklahoma........ Kansas
10. Low Cal (1-10)......... 24-41, Colorado.......... Stanford

11. Ole Mass (1-9), 12. FIU (1-9); 13. Idle; 14. New Mexico St (1-9); 15. Idaho (1-9); 16. W Michigan (1-10); 17. Kentucky (2-8); 18. Virginia (2-8); 19 E. Michigan (2-8); 20. Kansas (3-7).

Pros

How about squabbling Tampa-at-Bay? Just a few weeks ago, critics were saying that coach Greg Schiano had "lost the locker room." What a break it was, then, that local detectives found the locker room in some bushes on the side of I-4 highway. 

Since then, the Bucs_with a place to shower and dress_ have been practically ept,  most recently whipping the No. 1 Lost Team of Atlantis, 41-28 .

Atlantis checked in at No. 1 after losing twice in five days, a pace that even No.2 Jacksonville couldn't keep up with.

Houston registered at No. 3 after a 23-28 loss to Oakland but the Texans face a big challenge to their bumbling ways Sunday when they play Jacksonville in the Crummy Game of the 21st Century.

The No. 10 Pits appeared in throw-back striped jerseys (see photo at top), looking something like convicts--an image you'd think the NFL would want to avoid.

Wreck, Record......... Last Loss ...........................................Next Loss

1. Atlanta (2-9).......... 28-41, Tampa-at- Bay, 13-17, N.O..... New Orleans
2. Jacksonville (1-9).. 14-27, Arizona.................................... Houston

3. Houston (2-8)........ 23-28, Oakland................................... Jacksonville

4. Washington (3-7).. 16-24, Philadelphia .............................S.F.

5. Baltimore (4-6)...... 20-23, Chicago................................... N.J. Jets

6. Minnehaha (2-8); 7. Tampa at Bay (2-8); 8. St. Louis (4-6); 9. San Diego (4-6); 10. The Pits (4-6).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Houston (2-8) vs. Jacksonville (1-9) (a game so terrible that the NFL refuses to reveal where it's being played).