Thursday, October 24, 2013

Top 25 Poll Shows Its Funny Side




By Steve Harvey
NFL Outsider
                                              9 seconds ago

Colleges

What's with the Associated Press' Top 25, trying to steal laughs from the Bottom Ten?

Nine of the Top 25 lost games over the weekend, most notably No. 8 Louisville to Central Florida (who?) and No. 15 Georgia to...Vanderbilt! Oh, those cruel Commodores.

Georgia has, in fact, taken an early lead in the Most Disappointing Team of the Year competition, having gone from No. 5 in the pre-season AP to No. 30 in the latest poll. Right behind the Bulldogs is No. 32 Florida, which has fallen 22 spots, and No. 35 Texas, down 20 spots since the start of the year.

Speaking of comedy, Northwestern is currently in 6th place in the Legends Division of the Big Ten. Yes, there is such a thing as the Legends Division. The fact that the Mildcats have an 0-3 conference record seems to be irrelevant.


Wreck, Record.................... Last Loss..................... Next Loss
1. AP Top 25.........................Nine Games...................Stay tuned
2. Low Cal (1-6)................... 17-49, Oregon St.......... Washington
3. New Mexico St (0-7)........ 19-45, Rice................... Abilene Christian
4. So So Miss (0-6)............... 14-55, E Carolina.......... North Texas
5. Purdon't (1-6)...................... 0-14, Michigan St........ Idle St
6. Miami (O) (0-7)................ 17-24, Akron................. Ohio (O)
7. W Michigan (0-8)............. 17-38, Ball St................. Ole Mass
8. Hawaii (0-6)...................... Idle Tech........................ Colorado St
9. Georgia St (0-7)................ 17-24, Texas St.............. La. Monroe
10. The NCAA.......................Miami investigation........Last of its credibility
11. Yukon (0-6); 12. North Carolina (1-5); 13. Iowa State (1-5); 14. UTEP (1-5); 15. FIU (1-5); 16. Kentucky (1-5); 17. Idaho (1-6);  18. Idle; 19. Ole Mass (1-6); 20. Northwestern (4-3).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Western Michigan (0-8) vs. Ole Mass (1-6).

Rout of the Weak: Washington (4-3) over  Low Cal (1-6).

Your (Weekly) Autumn Movie Guide to Movies You Should Watch Again: Technical Difficulties

Whoops! Thought I'd lost you for a moment there. OK, we've restored power; let's resume.

Pros

You knew the Giants' losing streak was going to come to an end when it was announced that Eli and Peyton would be playing together.

What an unbeatable combination! QB Eli Manning and RB Peyton Hillis. Sure enough, with Hillis rumbling for 36 yards, the Giants knocked off Minnehaha, 23-7, pushing the Vikings into the Bottom Ten lead.

The win left the 1-6 Giants two games out of first place in the NFL East division as they move closer to a probable spot in the Super Bowl (most likely against the New York Jets).

The Vikes were handicapped by the play of quarterback Josh Freeman, who threw 33 incompletions and prompted fans to move from the first few rows of the field section seats out of fear that they would be beaned by one of his wild tosses.

The desperate search for uninjured, unmaimed quarterbacks continues. St. Louis asked Bret Favre to come out of retirement.  Jeff Garcia, age 43 and idle since 2008, told the Browns he's ready. Nearly every quarterback over the age of 18 has been considered_all except that lefty who won a playoff game for Denver over Pittsburgh two years ago.

Wreck, Record........... Last Loss ........................Next Loss
1. Minnehaha (1-5)...... 7-23, Giants..................... Green Bay
2. Jacksonville (0-7)..... 6-24, San Diego ..............S.F.
3. Grampa Bay (0-6)... 23-31, Atlantis ..................Carolina
4. N.J. Giants (1-6)...... Def. Minnehaha, 23-7...... Philadelphia
5. Houston (2-5).......... 16-17, K.C....................... Healing
6. Raiders (2-4); 7. The Pits (2-4); 8. Philadelphia (3-4); 9. Atlantis (2-4); 10. St. Louis (3-4).

Special Citation: Longest gain of the year by an Oakland Raider running back: 19 yards.

Rout of the Weak: San Francisco (5-2) over Jacksonville (0-7) in London (temperature and point spread both expected to be in the 40s).


2 comments:

  1. Steve Harvey! Man...I am extremely happy to find your blog.

    I have great memories of reading your work with The Bottom Ten, as a teenager back in the 1970's. The Shreveport Times carried your column, and I looked for it religiously!

    What brought you to mind (and caused me to search for you) is the fact that my beloved LSU Tigers are hosting Furman tonight in Baton Rouge. Man...you wrote some of the funniest stuff about Furman back in the day.

    Teenage memories just hang on, I guess.

    Keep it up, my friend. Good stuff!

    Seriously...

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  2. I was just writing over at a Clippers blog how much I miss Steve and the Bottom Ten, and dang but here you are!

    Texas El Intercepted Paso. Life is good again!

    http://mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?s=282&f=2154&t=12222137

    ReplyDelete