New Mexico_The Area 51 of College Football

By Steve Harvey
Deputy Asst. Executive Co-Spores Editor
Bottom Ten

(May be recorded for quality assurance.)

The Colleges

You could take the negative approach and say New Mexico State (0-5), the losingest team in the nation, is No. 1 in the Bottom Ten.

Or you could look at it from the point of view of computer ranker Jeff Sagarin. New Mexico is the 189th best team in college football. (All together now: We’re 189!)

Whatever, the Aggies’ Bottom Ten reign could be brief. Next up, they play New Mexico---that’s right, Lost Lobos (1-3), ranked No. 11. The Lobos fell to the University of Texas at El Fumbles and Interceptions (UTEFI), 42-56.

Elsewhere, No. 4 Purdon’t (1-4) succumbed to Northern Illinois, 24-55. Imagine if Purdon’t had been forced to play the entire state of Illinois, not just the northern portion.

No. 9 Low Cal (1-3) was crushed by Oregon, 16-55.

And returning to the Bottom Ten after a brief summer engagement elsewhere was No. 20 USC, loser of 7 of its last 11, the latest disaster being a 41-62 setback to Arizona State. Coach Lane Kiffin was fired afterward despite his contention that NCAA penalties had restricted him to 55 scholarships, 15 of which must go to chemistry students.

One rumor has it that the next USC coach will be Jim Mora Sr. Now that would make USC vs. UCLA a REAL rivalry!

The rankled:

Wreck, Record….……………. Last Loss…………………... Next Loss

1. New Mexico St  (0-5).......... 16-26, San Diego St……….. New Mexico

2. Temple (0-4) ………………..24-26, Idaho ………………...Louisville

3. So Miss (0-4) ………………...7-60, Boise St……………... Fla Int

4. Purdon’t (1-4) ……………… 24-55, No Ill …………………Nebraska

5. Ole Mass (0-4) ……………..Idle …………………………...Bowling (Green)

6. Fla Int (0-4) ………………….Idle …………………………..So Miss

7. Yu Kon (0-4) ………………..12-41, Buffalo………………. So Fla

8. Hawaii (0-4) ………………...37-42, Fresno St ……………San Jose St

9. Low Cal (1-3) ……………….16-55, Oregon……………... Washington State

10. So Fla (0-4) ………………..21-49, Miami (F) ……………Yu Kon

11. New Mexico (1-3); 12. Miami (O) 0-4, 13. W Mich (0-5); 14. UAB (1-30; 15. Tulsa (1-3); 16. La Tech (1-4); 17. Gone Fishing; 18. Central Mich (1-4); 19. Notre Dame (outscored 99-113 in last four games); 20. USC (0-2 in conference).

Crummy Game of the Weak (Tie): New Mexico State (0-5) vs. New Mexico (1-3); Fla Int (0-4) vs. So Miss (0-4); Yukon (0-4 vs. S. Fla (0-4).

Ironies, ironies: On the day Lane Kiffin was fired as USC football coach, Seattle Seahawks coach Pete Carroll (who deserted USC before the school was hit with sanctions) scored a dramatic, come-from-behind victory.  And Detroit running back Reggie Bush (who was the primary figure in the USC scandal) ran for 139 yards. Way to go, Pete and Reggie_don’t look back!

Pros

The game between winless wonders Pittsburgh and Minnesota was evidently so bad that no stadium in the United States would show it so the two rum-dums had to go overseas and play in London. The Pits took over the Bottom Ten by losing, 27-34.

 

The N.J. Giants (0-4) kept pace with the Pits, recording their fourth straight failure but will be hard-pressed to keep the losing streak alive since they next get fast-fading Philadelphia (1-3).

How bad are things for Jacksonville (0-4)? The Jags tried to lure people to their game against Indianapolis by offering them 2 free beers for every ticket of $45 or more purchased. (No joke.) The Jags, who fell 3-37, played as though they had broken into the booze themselves.

And congrats to the Manning brothers, who ran their combined number of wins to 4.

The rankled:

Wreck, Record………. Last Loss……………. Next Loss

1. The Pits (0-4).......... 27-34, Minnehaha…... N.J. Jets

2. N.J. Giants (0-4)....... 7-31, K.C…………… Philadelphia

3. Jack (0-4)................. 3-37, Indy…………… St. Louis

4. St. Louis (1-3) ……..11-35, S.F……………. Jack

5. Bay (Tampa) (0-4).. 10-13, Arizona……….. Philadelphia (Oct. 13)

6. Atlantis (1-3); 7. Oakland (1-3); 8. Bay (Green) (1-2); 9. Philadelphia (1-3); 10. Team New Zealand Yachting crew.

Crummy Game of the Weak: Jacksonville (0-4) vs. St. Louis (1-3).

Special Citation: The Steelers are only team in NFL who have yet to force a turnover.