By Steve Harvey
Bottom Ten Anchorman
(Please silence cell phones before you begin reading.)
The Colleges
Sure, USC is out of contention for the BCS title. But another Pac-12 team---Colorado---has a good shot at the Bottom Ten championship.
The Vanishing Buffaloes (1-5) just vaulted to the top with a 17-51 loss to Arizona State. As befits their name, the Sun Devils dominated Colorado in the all-important category of demonic possession.
Colorado, after some near-wins early in the season against Colorado State and Sacramento State, now seems poised to roll under Pac-12 teams in their final six games.
In other Pac-12 news, after Washington State coach Mike Leach accused some of his seniors of being "zombie-like" with "an empty-corpse quality," the team went out and lost to Cal, 17-31. The Cougars did exhibit a do-or-die attitude, though.
This weekend, No. 13 Tulane (1-5) travels to No. 8 UTEP (1-6) for a game in which the noise factor---that is, the lack-of-noise factor---is expected to be critical, judging from the lack of interest of fans. Tulane staff members have been instructed to whisper during practice and traffic has been blocked off around the stadium so the team can accustom itself to playing in the deafening silence.
Elsewhere, No. 6 Electoral College (0-0) had a bye, as it awaits its big match in November.
Wreck, Record.............. Last Loss............... Next Loss*
Sure, USC is out of contention for the BCS title. But another Pac-12 team---Colorado---has a good shot at the Bottom Ten championship.
The Vanishing Buffaloes (1-5) just vaulted to the top with a 17-51 loss to Arizona State. As befits their name, the Sun Devils dominated Colorado in the all-important category of demonic possession.
Colorado, after some near-wins early in the season against Colorado State and Sacramento State, now seems poised to roll under Pac-12 teams in their final six games.
In other Pac-12 news, after Washington State coach Mike Leach accused some of his seniors of being "zombie-like" with "an empty-corpse quality," the team went out and lost to Cal, 17-31. The Cougars did exhibit a do-or-die attitude, though.
This weekend, No. 13 Tulane (1-5) travels to No. 8 UTEP (1-6) for a game in which the noise factor---that is, the lack-of-noise factor---is expected to be critical, judging from the lack of interest of fans. Tulane staff members have been instructed to whisper during practice and traffic has been blocked off around the stadium so the team can accustom itself to playing in the deafening silence.
Elsewhere, No. 6 Electoral College (0-0) had a bye, as it awaits its big match in November.
Wreck, Record.............. Last Loss............... Next Loss*
1. Kentucky (1-6).............. 7-49, Arkansas..... Georgia
2. Colorado (1-5) ............17-51, Arizona St....USC
3. Auburning (1-5).......... 20-41, Ole Miss...... Vanderbilt
3. Auburning (1-5).......... 20-41, Ole Miss...... Vanderbilt
4. Mass (0-6)................... Bye .........................Bowling (Green)
5. E. Michigan (0-6)........ 47-52, Toledo ........Army
6. Electoral College (0-0).. Idle...................... Idle
7. Ill (2-5) ...........................0-45, Michigan.... Idle
7. Ill (2-5) ...........................0-45, Michigan.... Idle
8. UTEP (1-6)................. 11-33, Tulsa.......... Tulane
9. UNLV (1-6)................. 37-42, Nevada....... Boise St
9. UNLV (1-6)................. 37-42, Nevada....... Boise St
10. Washingon State (2-5) 17-31, Cal............. Stanford
11. Akron (2-6); 12. SMU (2-4); 13. Tulane (1-5); 4. Wyoming (1-5); 15. So. Fla. (2-4); 16. Syracuse (2-4); 17. Pitt (2-4); 18. Vacationing; 19. Georgia Tek (2-4); 20. Texas (1-2 in conference).
*Statistics, in some cases, are estimates.
Rout of the Weak: UNLV (1-6) vs. Boise State (5-1) (game is rated PG; children can attend only with parents' written permission).
Crummy Game of the Weak: Tulane (1-5) at UTEP (1-6).
The Pros
True, the Raiders came close to defeating heavily-favored Atlanta over the weekend but, alas, the Bottom Ten's primitive computers do not take margin of defeat or quality of opponent into account. For that, and other bad reasons, the Raiders took over the Bottom Ten.
Next up they play No. 2 Jacksonville, which has shunned a no-huddle offense in favor of a no-offense-at-all approach.
The past week marked another milestone for the No. 5 Chargers, who set an NFL record in their 24-35 loss to Denver. The New York Times reported that the Chargers, quarterbacked by Old Man Rivers, became the first team to lead by 24 or more points at halftime, then lose by double digits.
Elsewhere, coach Andy Reid of No. 9 Philadelphia, saddled with the most turnover-prone quarterback in the NFL (Michael Vick), took the logical step and fired his defensive coordinator.
1. Oakland (1-4) ..........20-23 Atlanta........... Jacksonville
2. Jacksonville (1-4)..... Idle.......................... Oakland
3. Kansas City (1-5).... 10-38, Grampa Bay.. Idle
4. Dallas (2-3) .............29-31, Baltimore .......Carolina
5. San Diego (3-3) .......24-35, P Manning.....Bye*
6. Cleveland (1-5); 7. Carolina (1-4); 8. New Orleans (1-4); 9. Philadelphia (3-3); 10. Old England (3-3).
*San Diego's bye began at halftime of Denver game when Chargers led, 24-0.
Crummy Game of the Year: Jacksonville (1-4) vs. Oakland (1-4).
Fantasy flops: SD QB Rivers (25 of 41 pass attempts, 242 yards with 4 ints); Miami RB R. Bush (12 carries for 17 yards); Houston RB A. Foster (17 carries for 29 yards).
Those Dominant Passing Machines: The five top passers, yardage-wise, last weekend were Brady (NE) (395 yards), Dalton (Cincy) (381), Roeth. (Pitts) (363), Palmer (Raiders) (353), and Ponder (Minnie) (352). All lost.
His NFL knowledge is debatable: Paul Ryan, the Republican veep candidate, visited Browns practice and heaped praise on QB Brandon Weeden. The only problem, reported USA Today, was that, as he spoke, he was "pointing and staring directly at backup Colt McCoy," who lost his job to Weeden.
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