Bowled Over in the Post-Season

By Steve Harvey

Outdated 15 minutes ago

The Bottom Ten Bowls

UCLA's football team observed a yearly tradition of taking a ditch day Tuesday, with most of the players absenting themselves from practice. You could make the case that 2011 was a ditch year for the Ruins, who compiled a 5-7 season.

Such futility did not preclude UCLA from being chosen for a post-season game_the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl, versus nearly-as-inept Illinois (6-6). The Ruins are the first under-.500 team to be chosen for a bowl since 5-6 North Texas went to the New Orleans Bowl (and lost by 25) in 2001.

And, UCLA could become the first bowl team to lose 8 games in a season if the Ruins fall to Illinois, as they surely will.

Thus it's no surprise that the Kraft Bowl would be ranked No. 1, just ahead of the Gator Bowl, which features the Ohio State Buckeyes (6-6) in their last post-season appearance for a while.

The Buckeyes were suspended from bowls_including the Hollywood Bowl_ for a year after players received cash and free tattoos from a Columbus businessman. The players involved were ordered to return their tattoos to the parlor.

Dud Bowl..........................Teams (with sorry records in parentheses)

1. Kraft Hunger Bowl............... UCLA (6-7) vs. Illinois (6-6).

2. Gator Bowl ............................Florida (6-6) vs. Ohio State (6-6).

3. Independence Bowl.............. North Carolina (7-5) vs. Missouri (7-5).

4. Little Caesars Pizza Bowl......Western Michigan (7-5) vs. Purdon't (6-6).

5. Belk Bowl*..............................North Carolina State (7-5) vs. Louisville (7-5).

6. Holiday Bowl**......................Texas (7-5) vs. Cal (7-5).

7. Pinstripe ................................Rutgers (8-4) vs. Iowa State (6-6).

8. Music City Bowl................... Mississippi State (6-6) vs. Wake Forest (6-6).***

9. Meinke Car Bowl ..................Texas A$M (6-6) vs. Northwestern (6-6).

10. BBVA Compass Bowl..........Pittsburgh (6-6) vs. The SMUs (7-5).

*Since you asked, Belk is a department store chain. This bowl, which, like many, has had various aliases, was formerly the Queen City Bowl and the Continental Tire Bowl (though not at the same time).

**Holiday Bowl is no day at the beach.

***Steve Gross points out a mistake in the No. 8 worst bowl: "Ahem...it's Weak Forest not Wake Forest.

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Quotebook: The Los Angeles Times reported that NFL draft guru Gil Brandt says USC QB Matt Barkley compares ``favorably" to QB Mark Sanchez of the floundering Jets. Is that supposed to be a compliment?

The Pros

They've fouled up everything else this season so maybe it figures that the Indianapolis Dolts may now fail to be the NFL's worst team, in which case they would forfeit the right to draft Stanford QB Andrew Luck.

The previously winless Dolts (1-13) won a game Sunday_over Tennessee, true, but it still counts_and now sit just a game ahead of the St. Louis Lambs (2-12) and Minnehaha Vikings (2-12).

Elsewhere, the No. 9 Bears (7-7) are too late to contend for the Bottom Ten title this year, but they notched an admirable fourth straight loss. They've named Josh McCown to start Sunday against Green Bay (13-1).

McCown's attorneys have appealed to the governor for a commutation of the sentence.

No. 2 St. Louis (2-12) faces Pittsburgh (10-4), an unenviable task especially since the Steelers have ordered a new pair of crutches for QB Ben Roethlisberger to use on the field.

Wreck, Record...........Last Loss....................Next Loss

1. St. Louis (2-12)............ 13-20, Cincinnati............ Pittsburgh

2. Minnehaha (2-12)....... 20-42, New Orleans....... Washington

3. Buffalo (5-9)................ 23-30, Miami (Fla.)........ Denver

4. Indianapolis (1-13)..... Def. Tennessee, 27-13 ......Houston

5. Cleveland (4-10)......... 17-20, Arizona.................. Baltimore

6. Grampa Bay (4-10); 7. Jacksonville (4-10); 8. Carolina (5-9); 9. Chicago (7-7); 10. N.J. Giants (1-5 in last 6 games).

Rout of the Weak: (Regionals) Pittsburgh (10-4) over St. Louis (2-12); Green Bay (13-1) over Chicago (7-7).

Conspiracy against Tebow? Of course, he lost to New England over the weekend. What would you expect with all the jinxes working against him? Not only was Tebow on the cover of Sports Illustrated beforehand but Republican presidential hopeful Rick Perry compared himself to Tebow. Polls indicate Perry is the fourth string candidate in the Iowa caucuses.