New Mexico Has What It Doesn't Take

By Steve Harvey

Bottom Ten intern

Backdated 15 minutes ago

The Colleges

Akron (1-11) and Indiana (1-11) had good reasons for not scoring over the weekend. They didn't play.

But New Mexico (1-11) had no such excuse, falling to Boise State, 0-45_its third shutout loss_to win the Bottom Ten title. Lost Lobos edged out fellow shutout victim Florida Atlantic (1-11) for the honor.

Followers of Akron, Indiana and Florida Atlantic reacted in disbelief, asking how their teams could be overlooked when they tied for most losses in the nation_11. But until a TV show sponsors a Bottom Ten playoff_how about a re-make of ``The Gong Show"?_arguments about who is No. 1 will rage on, for at least 15 seconds.

Ole Ole Miss, meanwhile, won another title of sorts_for worst bargain of a coach, USA Today reported. The Rebels went 2-10 under coach Houston Nutt, who was paid $2.8 million for the season_or $1.4 million per win, as any Ohio State math whiz could tell you.

Other high finishers were Indiana 's Kevin Wilson (one win, $1.26 million per year), Kansas' Turner Gill (one win, $1.05 million per year), and Maryland's Randy Edsall (two wins, $2 million contract).

Wreck, Record...................... Last Loss..........Bowl Invite?

1. New Mexico (1-11)........... 0-45, Boise State.......... No

2. Florida Atlantic (1-11)..... 0-26, L.A.-Monroe....... You kidding?

3. Akron (1-11)..................... 19-68, W. Michigan....... Uh, uh

4. Indiana (1-11)................... 25-33, Purdon't.............. No chance

5. UNLV (2-10)...................... 9-56, TCU...................... Get serious

6. Two Lane (2-11) ..............23-35, Hawaii................. Not Hardly

7. Maryland (2-10).............. 41-56, N.C. State............. Nope

8. Kansas (2-10).................. 10-24, Missouri................Don't ask

9. Near Miss (2-10).............. 3-31, Ole Miss State...... Nada

10. Idaho (2-10).................... 3-56, Nevada ...................Small potatoes

11. Duke (3-9); 12. Central Michigan (3-9); 13. Oregon State (3-9); 14. Washington State (4-8); 15. Rice (4-8); 16. Louisiana-Monroe (4-8); 17. Tennessee (5-7); 18. Kentucky (5-7); 19. Closed or repairs; 20. UCLA (6-7).

Should New Mexico (1-11) be in the TOP Ten? Reader Jay Berman points out that New Mexico's only win was over UNLV, and UNLV beat Hawaii while Hawaii beat Colorado. Colorado beat Arizona, and Arizona beat Arizona State, which beat USC, which beat Oregon. Therefore, New Mexico could whip Oregon handily.

The Pros

It's obvious that Indianapolis has found its quarterback of the future: Dan Orlovsky, who passed for 353 yards and two touchdowns in a 24-31 loss to New England.

His performance meant that the Dolts can now cut Peyton Manning, forget about signing Brett Favre (he's going to Chicago, anyway), and use their first-round draft choice to get a decent running back instead of that guy at Stanford. Orlovsky should lead the Dolts to victory in the 2012-2013 Super Bowl.

Former Bottom Ten luminary Arizona (5-7) fell out of contention with a 19-13 overtime win over over-rated Dallas. The Cardinals' LaRod Stephens-Howling caught a short pass and ran 52 yards for the winning touchdown, crossing the goal line before broadcasters managed to pronounce his full name.

The Cowboys would have won in regulation except that Dallas coach Jason Garrett inexplicably called time out just as his own kicker Dan Bailey was booting what would have been a 49-yard-field goal. On his second try, Bailey missed. "I was glad they iced the kicker there at the end so I didn't have to do it," said Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt. What a howl.

Wreck, Record.................... Last Loss.................... Next Loss

1. St. Louis (2-10)..............0-26, San Francisco... Seattle

2. Indianapolis (0-12)..... 24-31, New England..... Baltimore

3. Buffalo (5-7)................. 17-23, Tennessee.......... San Diego

4. Minnehaha (2-10) .......32-35, Denver............... Detroit

5. Grampa Bay (4-8)....... 19-38, Carolina............ Jacksonville

6. Jacksonville (3-9); 7. Carolina (4-8); 8. Cleveland (4-8); 9. Dallas (7-5); 10. Rest of NFL vs. Tebow (1-6).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Grampa Bay (4-8) at Jacksonville (3-9) (senior discounts available).

Monday Night Crummy Game of the Weak: St. Louis (2-10) at Seattle (5-7).

Rout of the Weak: Cleveland (4-8) at the Pitts (9-3).

Fantasy Flops: RB Michael Bush (Oakland), 10 carries for 18 yards.