Oh, Miami (O.)! All Hail the 2013 Bottom Ten Champs

       
S
           Bottom Ten TV Network Debuts!

By Steve Harvey
Content Server

Colleges

Miami of Ohio (0-12), using its famous prevent offense, averaged 9.7 points per game this season to capture the mythical Bottom Ten title.

Possibly mythical Georgia State (0-12), a school that no one has ever heard of, finished second, pending an investigation of its existence by BT officials.

Third place went to Florida, which did win in the category of  "Most Disappointing Team of 2013."  The snaggle-toothed Gators, ranked No. 10 in AP's Top Ten pre-season poll, crossed over to the Bottom Ten in mid-season, losing their last seven games.

No. 4 UAB (2-10) lost 27-62, to No. 5 So Miss (1-11), which saw its hopes for a winless season float away down the Mighty Southern Mississip. That was the closest thing to a Bottom Ten Bowl this year. Sorry, football fans.


Wreck, Record.............. Last Loss.................. Bowl Bid?
1. Miami (Oh!) (0-12)..... 14-65  Ball St............  .None
2. Florida (4-8)................. 7-37, Fla St...............Nope
3. Georgia State (0-12) ...17-38, So Alabama....  Naw
4. UAB (2-10)................ 27-62, So Miss........... Nyet
5. So Miss (1-11)............ Def. UAB, 62-27......  .You kidding?
6. FIU (1-11)................... 6-21, Fla Atlantic........Uh uh
7. Idaho (1-11)............... 16-24, New Mex St..... Come on
8. Ole Mass (1-11)......... 23-51, Ohio (O.) ..........Get real
9. W. Mich (1-11).......... 14-33, N Ill................... Huh?
10. Low Cal (1-11).........13-63, Stanford.............Not Hardly
11. Hawaii (1-11); 12. Purdon't (1-11); 13. UTEP (2-10); 14. Tulsa (3-9); 15. New Mexico St (2-10); 16. E Mich (2-10); 17. Idle; 18. Kentucky (2-10); 19. Arkansas (3-9); 20. Virginia (2-10).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Closed for season.

Pros

Some Texas political figures have recommended that the state secede from the union. A growing number of folks down there, however, are saying that the state of Texas can remain but the Houston Texans football team must leave.

Once 2-0, the Texans rolled to their 11th straight loss, falling short against No. 8 Jacksonville (4-9), of all teams.

What a topsy turvy race it's been in the Bottom Ten. There was a time when the Jaguars and New York Giants were 0-6 and Tampa-at-Bay was 0-5. Now, those three have 12 wins among themselves, virtually bidding sayonara to their championship hopes.

Tampa still has a chance if it can find a way to lose to No. 3 Buffalo (4-8).

The Bills crumpled, 31-34, to Atlantis, in overtime in a game played in Toronto. Why was Buffalo happy when the game went into overtime? Well, who'd be in a hurry to return home to Buffalo?


Wreck, Record               Last Loss................. Next Loss
1. Houston (2-11).............20-27, Jacksonville....Idle
2. Washington (3-9)..........17-24, N.J. Giants.....Kansas City
3. Buffalo (4-8).................31-34, Atlantis...........Tampa-at-Bay
4. N.J. Jets (5-7)..................3-23, Miami (Fla.)...Oakland
5. Tampa-at-Bay (3-9)........6-27, Carolina..........Buffalo
6. Oakland (4-8) 7. Green Bay (5-6-1); 8. Jacksonville (4-9); 9. Atlanta (3-9); 10. Cleveland (4-8).

Crummy Games of the Weak: East regional: Oakland (4-8) at N.J. Jets (5-7); South regional: Buffalo (4-8) at Tampa-at-Bay (3-9).