Friday, December 13, 2013

Bowled Over

By Steve Harvey
Bottom Ten
Asset Protection

Bowls

One of the perennial debates in college football is: How would a team that finished fifth in one subdivision of the Big Ten fare against a team that finished fifth in the Big 12?

Good news, horrible bowl fanciers! At last you can get the answer when Michigan (7-5) meets Kansas State (7-5) in the prestigious Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl, which will be held in Tempe, not Buffalo, and is no longer called the Copper Bowl or the Insight.com Bowl, and denies that it was ever called the Poulan Weed-Eater Bowl.

Michigan has the most reverse momentum of any bowl team, rallying with four defeats in its last five games to knock itself out of Rose Bowl consideration.

Believe it or not, Michigan and Kansas State are not the losingest bowl teams.Whereas they combined for 10 losses, Washington State and Colorado State put together 12 defeats all together---not that that discouraged the New Mexico Bowl selection committee. BT selectors voted it the worst bowl of the year.

Another team on a cold streak is Duke, coming off a 7-45 loss to Florida State. The Blue Devils face Texas A$M (8-4) in the Chick-fil-A Bowl. The point spread and attendance are expected to be about 12.

Opponents, Records.............................................. Dud Bowl
1. Washington St (6-6) vs. Colorado St (7-6) ..........New Mexico
2. Michigan (7-5) vs. Kansas St (7-5)..................... Wings
3. Boise St (9-4) vs. Oregon St (6-6)....................... Hawaii
4. Buffalo (8-4) vs. San Diego St (7-5)................... Potato
5. Utah (8-5) vs. N Ill (12-1)................................... Poinsettia
6. Marshall (9-4) vs. Maryland (7-5) .......................Military
7. Pits (6-6) vs. Bowling Green (10-3).................... Pizza
8. E.Carolina (9-3) vs. Ohio (O.) (7-5).................... Beef
9. Syracuse (6-6) vs. Minnesota (9-4) .....................Texas
10. Duke (10-3) vs. Texas A$M (8-4).................... Chick-fil-A


Pros

You'd think an NFL team on an 11-game losing streak would be making a run-away of the Bottom Ten championship race.

But, no,  Who?ston (2-11) still has plenty of competition.

There's quarterback-less No. 2 Washington, which is 3-10 and could move up with an impressive stomping by No. 5 Atlantis (3-10). Quite a shock it was when Washington coach Mike Shanahan said he would handle the quarterbacking chores himself this week.

Then there's No. 3 Minnehaha  (3-9-1). Things are going so badly for the Vikes that a catering truck plowed into their plane after their loss to Baltimore, forcing the team to wait several hours in their locker room before a new plane could be found. Replays showed the catering truck was definitely offsides.

And let's not forgot to congratulate the 4-9 Raiders, who clinched a losing record for the 11th straight year with their 27-37 loss to the Jets.

Wreck, Records.......... Last Loss .................Next Loss

1. Who?ston (2-11)...... 20-27, Jacksonville.... Indianapolis
2. Washington (3-10)... 10-45, Kansas City.... Atlantis
3. Minnehaha (3-9-1)... 28-29, Baltimore........ Philadelphia
4. Pitts (5-8) .................28-34, Miami .............Cincinnati
5. Atlantis (3-10).......... 21-22, Green Bay...... Washington

6. Buffalo (4-9); 7. Cleveland (4-9); 8. (Tie) N.Y. Giants (5-8) and N.Y. Knicks (6-15); 10. Oakland (4-9).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Atlantis (3-10) vs. Washington (3-10).

1 comment:

  1. You don't know a whole lot about how well Texas A&M travels do you? Nice tongue and cheek joke, but try not to show your ass so much next time.

    ReplyDelete