Cards dealt a disastrous hand

By Steve Harvey
Chess Editor

Colleges

Idle

Pros

``No One Is Beyond God's Help_Not Even the Cardinals," said the marquee at the West Greenway Bible Church in Glendale, Ariz.

Maybe. But there's no other sign that the Cards' 9-game losing streak is coming to an end. Arizona took one step closer to the Bottom Ten title by falling, 0-58, to Seattle. (Hopefully someone asked Seahawks coach Pete Carroll after the slaughter, ``What's your deal?")

The crushing of the Cards was nearly the only bright light in the Bottom Ten. Officials uncovered a conspiracy in which several inept teams _Dallas, San Diego, Philadelphia and Carolina_recorded upset wins.

Next up (or down), the Cards play perennially disappointing Detroit, which drew laughs in the NFL with its official 2013 calendar, featuring wide receiver Titus Young on the cover, Yahoo.com said.

Young, who was accused of insubordination to coaches and sucker-punching one teammate, has been in coach Jim Schwartz' dog house for much of the season (and you know how effective a dog house is at restraining a Lion).
Young was recently put on season-ending injured reserve. It's not clear if he'll even be on the team next year.

Wreck, Record................. Last Drubbing .......Next Drubbing
1. Arizona (4-9)................... 0-58, Seattle........... Detroit
2.  Jacksonville (2-11)....... 10-17, N.J. Jets......... Miami (Fla.)
3. Oakland (3-10).............. 13-26, Denver........... Kansas City
4. Kansas City (2-11).......... 7-30, Cleveland....... Oakland
5. Buffalo (5-8)................. 12-15, St. Louis......... Seattle
6. Detroit (4-9); 7. Tennessee (4-9); 8. Carolina (4-9); 9. New Orleans (5-8); 10. N.J. Jets (6-7).

Crummy Game of the Weak: Kansas City (2-11) at Oakland (3-10).

Rout of the Week: Stanford Routt, Houston cornerback (You don't believe me? Google him).

Special Citation: The Associated Press reports that Philadelphia comic Joe Conklin and his daughter Casey have paid tribute to  Eagles coach Andy Reid with a video parody of Taylor Swift's song, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together." Title of the parody: "We Are Never Ever Gonna Win With Andy."