Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Tampa Bay at worst when it really counts...




                                Jets' Rex Ryan puts himself into game at quarterback.


                                                     Oops! Johnny Manziel shows up for                                                                               
                                                     game in wrong uniform.

By Steve Harvey
Subscriptions Dept.
Bottom Ten


The Tampa Bay Bucs, the NFL's expansion-team emeritus, captured the Bottom Ten title with a clutch 20-23 loss to Old Orleans.

The Bucs (2-14) did win something---the rights to the No. 1 pick in the draft. They may select Marcus Mariota, Oregon's Heisman Trophy-winning QB, if they've heard of him.

The Bucs edged the Tennessee Titanic, also 2-14, for the title.

A special citation goes to No. 4 Cleveland, which lost its last five games, sparked by QB Johnny Shuffleboard. Commentator Ben Maller noted it was the 50th anniversary of the last Browns championship, adding: "Anyone can have an off half-century."

Meanwhile, exec George McCaskey of the No. 5 Chicago Bears, announced that the patience of his mother (and Bears owner) Virginia McCaskey has run out.

"She's pissed off," he told the Chicago Tribune. "I can't think of a 91-year-old woman that that description would apply (to), but in this case, I can't think of a more accurate description."

Unconfirmed reports said that Virginia McCaskey had threatened to give her son a time-out if the team didn't start winning.

                                Ndamukong Suh, performing his Surfer Stomp move


Wreck, Record ...............Last Loss.....................Playoff Seeding
1. Tampa Bay (2-14) .......20-23, Old Orleans........None
2. Tennessee (2-14)........ 10-27, Indy.....................Nil
3. Oakland (3-13) ............14-47, Denver................Nada
4. Cleveland (7-9) ............10-20, Baltimore...........You kidding?
5. Chicago (5-11).............. 9-13, Minnesota .........Hah!
6. Jacksonville (3-13); 7. Washington (4-12); 8. N.J. Jets (4-12);  9. Old Orleans (7-9); 10. Idle.

Crummy Game of the Week: Any Wild Card match.

Quotebook: Seattle Times columnist Dwight Perry, on the $11,050 fine levied against Seattle RB Marshawn Lynch for grabbing his crotch at the end of a 79-yard run against the Cardinals: "So what were you expecting_10 yards for illegal use of hands?

Most explosive headline of year (on Yahoo)? Hottest Football Wives and Girlfriends
(Wait until the wives find out about the girlfriends!)

   


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