Your Official Bowl Bottom Ten!

By Steve Harvey
CEO, Bottom Ten

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Bowls

It's a myth that any college team can receive a bowl invitation. Take Fresno State, for instance. The Bulldogs (6-7) had to crumble 13-52 in their opener to USC to draw some attention.

And they had to wind up losing more than half their games, qualifying for the Hawaii Bowl against Rice only because they somehow won the Western Division of the Mountain West Conference, one of football's highest honors.

And, in case, any more proof about the Bulldogs' qualifications were needed, they were ranked the 98th best team in football the other day in USA Today's Sagarin Ratings. 'Nuff said.

Another real post-season turkey is the Foster Farms Bowl, pitting (apt word) Maryland (7-5) vs. Stanford (7-5). Stanford evidently was chosen because it has a lot of reverse momentum going, having fallen from No. 11 in the pre-season Top 25 rankings to its current No. 37.

Speaking of duds, the Independence Bowl, which will always be the Poulan Weed-Eater Independence Bowl to true fans, matches Miami (Fla.) and South Carolina, two teams with 12 defeats between them.

Hopefully this game will finally settle the age-old argument about who would win a game between the third-place team in the Atlantic Coast's Coastal Division and the fourth-place team in the Southeastern Conference's East Division. The suspense!

 Finally, TCU and Baylor, both 11-1 and both rejected by the playoff committee in favor of some team from the Big Ten, qualified for Bitterness Bowls I and II.


Name of Dud......................Teams
1. Hawaii Bowl................... Fresno State (6-7)* vs. Rice (7-5)
2. Pinstripe Bowl..................BC (7-5) vs. Penn State (6-6)
3. Foster Farms Bowl.......... Maryland (7-5) vs. Stanford (7-5)
4. Tax Slayer Bowl..............Tennessee (6-6) vs. Iowa (7-5)
5. Independence Bowl..........Miami (6-6) vs. South Carolina (6-6)
6. Texas Bowl......................Texas (6-6) vs. Arkansas (6-6)
7. Liberty Bowl....................W Va (7-5) vs Texas A$M (7-5)
8. Once-Great Teams Bowl..Nebraska (9-3) vs. USC (8-4)
9. Bitterness Bowl 1..............TCU (11-1) vs. Ole Miss (9-3)
9. Bitterness Bowl II..............Baylor (11-1) vs. Michigan State (10-2)
10. Bottom Ten Bowl*..........SMU (1-11) vs. Georgia State (1-11)
*Time, Date, City, State, Country, Hemisphere, TV coverage of Bottom Ten Bowl are minor details still to be worked out.

Pros

It's always sad when a great streak comes to an end. So it is with Jacksonville, which was an underdog in 42 straight games_just one short of the NFL record set by the St. Louis Rams from 2007 to 2009.

Alas, the cruel schedule-maker had the Jaguars play the Tennessee Titanic on Thursday and Jacksonville was made a 3-point favorite. No one, except possibly Fresno State, could be an underdog against Tennessee.

But it was the end of the Jags' streak.

And the Titanic dutifully sank to No. 1 in the Bottom Ten. Nothing is official yet, though, because NFL CPAs are still scrambling to certify the Titanic's previous 16-11 loss to the Jets, trying to determine how a football game could end with a 16-11 score.

Next week, things return to normal for Jacksonville. They play at Houston (7-7), which has already beaten them once. The Jags are expected to be 6-point underdogs. A new streak!


Wreck, Record............. Last Loss ........................Next Loss
1. Tennessee (2-13)....... 13-21, Jax......................... Indy
2. Oakland (2-12).......... 13-31, K.C. .....................Buffalo
3. Washington (3-11)..... 13-24, N.J. Giants........... Philadelphia
4. Jax (3-12) ...................Def. Tennessee, 21-13.... Houston
5. Cleveland (7-7)*......... 0-30, Cincy.................... Carolina
6. Grampa Bay (2-12); 7. Atlanta (5-9); 8. N.J. Giants (5-9); 9. Chicago (5-9)**; 10. Idle.
*With Johnny Football at QB (see above photo).
**With or without Cutler at QB.